Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Let Me Step Onto My Soapbox

Okay, a teeny tiny disclaimer here for those that are new - I am perfect. I have no flaws. And I'm very opinionated. Second disclaimer- only the 3rd thing listed is actually true. Okay, so let me step up onto the soapbox and defend somebody else's kid today.

Let me back up just a teeny bit. Last night, Lyric is on the phone in her room. We have very little insulation (I think it's due to the pipes that carry our hot water heat, but I digress). I hear her crying and saying "You are worth it. You do deserve to live. Please don't hurt yourself." Okay, Protective Mommy wakes up and goes in to see what is going on. A friend of hers, we'll call K, is having a hard time.

K is Lyric's age (14-15) and had a long term boyfriend (like 3 years!). In January said boyfriend was injured in a car accident and ultimately died. He was 16. This is an of itself is bad enough. But, oh, yes, my friendly readers, it gets worse. The boyfriend was on his way to pick up K when the accident happened...so his parents blame her for him dying. Yup, that's right. Grown adults in their grief are blaming a teenage girl, who is now suicidal. Great, right?!?

So, I tried to talk with Lyric about the whole situation, and talked about both sides. How it's hard to deal with something like that. How people, when they are upset say things they don't really mean (God, I hope they don't mean it) and how sometimes it hard to recover once things are said. She feels bad, and I feel bad for her. She's the "more mature" of all her friends and everybody comes to her with their issues. And then she takes on their stress.

Seriously, people, how can you truly blame a 14 year old, who was sitting at her house waiting, for an accident? i don't get it. Maybe I'm completely off base, but it seems to me that the parents of the boyfriend need a bit o' counseling so they can deal. Unfortunately, sometimes there is no good place for the blame. I don't know the details of the accident, so there could be another care involved, etc. I hope that K and her family can get through this trying time.

And again I say "Boys are icky" and there is plenty of time for relationships later!

P.S. I asked Lyric last night, in a seperate conversation, how long she thought a "long term" relationship was. Her answer: 9-12 months. Hahahahahahaha. Her dad and I have been together for 19 years...LOL


roy/elisabeth dean said...

As if being a teen isn't stress enough!
I wonder if you could talk to the boy's family and let them know how hard K is taking this? Surely, they could talk to her! Maybe if you went through the school, or talked to K's Mom. You have to do something....for Lyric as well as K! Keep us posted. I will pray that you find a way to help this little girl~

Amy said...

Wow, that is terrible. I hope things work out and everyone involved gets the help they need to heal. Truly sad.

Country Mouse, City Mouse said...

Very sad!! I feel so badly for all involved.

lynn said...

That's awful. You know my daughter is the same age....I can't imagine her having to deal with something like that. Hope they all are able to work things out and get through this!