Wednesday, September 03, 2008

My Dad

I try to keep the blog pretty light and, hopefully, entertaining. But today I need to share/vent/post about something that happened last year. I talked to my dad for the first and only time. It was September 4th. Without going into all the gory details, I will tell you this.

My mom was young when I was born. He was older. He was in a more committed relationship with somebody else. (They married 2 months after I was born.) My mom didn't put his name on my birth certificate because she didn't want to lose me to him. My mom and her family did a tremendous job of raising me.

I've known since I was five that my biological dad was out there somewhere. I've searched off and on since I was about 14. Never had any luck.

Come to find out we were spelling his last name wrong. One letter makes a huge difference. And he was orginially from California, but now lives in Nevada. I had found somebody with the "right" name in Utah. Had a friend help me look for some contact information (Thanks, A!) and then I wrote a generic letter about how I was looking for somebody in my family.

I got a call about a week after I mailed that letter. I had actually sent it to my half-brother. We talked. I told him I was really looking for my dad, yada, yada, yada. He called his dad. Gave him the story. Called me back and gave me a cell number. Didn't really have anything else to say at that point. I'm not sure if he was shocked, pissed, upset. I don't know. I haven't talked with him since.

I filled my mom in on this stuff as it was happening. I hadn't told her that I sent the letter at the time, but now I was filling her in. I have to say, My Mom ROCKS! Anyway, I did call my dad. Talked with him for a few minutes.

He said that he couldn't confirm or deny that he was my dad. It was possible because he had in fact slept with my mom. Nice, huh?!?

Anyway, we exchanged contact information and got off the phone.

Over the course of the next couple of months, I exchanged emails with his wife, my step mom, I guess. One thing that was asked was what was I looking for. I don't know what they thought- that I was looking for money? But all I wanted was to finish that piece of the puzzle of me. After some pretty hurtful things, we got to a "good place" but I haven't exchagned emails with her or my dad for almost 9 months.

I have had some contact with a half- sister. She seems pretty cool and I would love to actually get to meet her some day. There is another sister as well, but I don't know much about her. I feel for the brother that first got the contact and I want to send him a letter, but I don't know what to say.

Someday I still hope to have to opportunity to meet my dad, but the only way for that to happen is for me to go out there. Fisher said he would go with me. (I LOVE HIM!) But, it's kind of a two way thing. Do they want to meet me? I can't imagine that I would meet them and not want to have a relationship/contact with them. I'm not sure it would be reciprocated, and I can't take that rejection again.

So, for right now, I'll continue to email W, and sent Christmas cards to R & N, and we'll just have to see where it goes from there.


lynn said...

Wow Amy. That all must have been hard for you to do. Thanks for sharing your story. Keep up the emails and the Christmas cards and who knows maybe something will come of it. But if not at least you know you tried.

ALLY2HisHeart said...

Amy, I know how hard this has all been for you, and I am praying SO hard and fast you will get to meet your biological father some day. Because you need that for YOU--for closure or whatever the next step may be.

You have a beautiful family. Come out West..we'll treat you good!!!

And keep that knowledge in your heart that YOU matter and your folks did a great job getting a wonderful young lady out in the world.


P.S. Baby steps...